Wasn't She?
by Depressed Chibi
Summary: Zane wallows in anger and sadness at the death of Pixal. Jay attempts to make things right and tries to cheer up the nindroid.


**This was a gift for Hayamika on tumblr.**

**Btw, I have nothing against Pixane, it's cute, I just had to sink that for the sake of this.**

* * *

Zane sat on the hard ground and breathed in the frigid air. The firm soil and cold air did little to bother him. In fact, on any other day it would have eased his mind. Today, however, nothing quelled his sorrows.

The ninja absentmindedly grabbed a fist full of grass and ripped it from the Earth. "_Why did she have to die?"_ Zane thought to himself. _"We were the same, she understood what it was like,"_

Zane grabbed more grass and again ripped it from the ground. "_She was the one..._"

He loosened his grip and allowed the blades to sail away into the night. Zane titled his head back, staring into the depths of space, "Wasn't she?" Zane asked. Hearing his own voice laced with despair only fulled his anger. "Wasn't she?!" Zane asked the dark sky again.

The ninja jumped to his feet, unable to sit still. "We were the _same! _Why would you put her in front of me and then tear her away?! Am I suppose to be alone?! Am I suppose to watch my brothers and sister die with no one left by my side?!" Zane shouted, his words becoming louder and more exasperated with each second.

Zane searched the trees and stars over him, as if the answer to this ordeal was there. There was only silence. "_Answer me!_ What is the point of this?!" Zane yelled to the sky. He didn't actually expect an answer, his father was the one who believed in some sort of higher being, not him. But he had no where left to turn.

"Please, I just want an answer," Zane begged, voice breaking as the anger left him. All that he could feel was sadness. Zane threw himself back against the tree he had been leaning on and slide down it. _"I guess father was wrong,"_

His thoughts paused as he blankly stared at the ground. He had reminded himself of another weighing thought,_"Father would have known what to do. He would have been able to fix Pixal. He would have said something that would have given me hope and made me smile,"_

Suddenly feeling more alone than he had ever felt before, he drew his legs to his chest and rested his head atop his knees. Tears flowed down his cheeks before they were soaked up by his pants.

"Zane? We heard your yelling from the temple. The others thought you needed some space, but I wanted to make sure you...were...okay," Jay's voice fell as he caught a glimpse of the ice ninja.

Sitting against a tree, knees to his chest, hands in the dirt, and head down. The male had never seemed so small to Jay before. The silence made Jay wonder whether or not the ninja had even heard his words. Jay debated whether or not to turn back and forget what he saw. He didn't want to leave his brother to this despair, but he was never good with serious matters. What if he said the wrong thing and made matters worse? What _could_ he say?

Jay chewed on his lip, but decided against leaving. Instead he walked right up to Zane and sat down next to him.

Zane stiffened, unsure whether or not his new companion was going to mock his sadness. When no comment came Zane relaxed. The ice ninja peeked from behind his legs at his brother. Jay wasn't staring at him, there was no goofy smile. He just sat next to Zane staring at the trees before them, waiting for the ice ninja to make the next move whether it be to push him away or to open up.

Neither boy moved for a long while. They listened to the slight wind rustling the tree leaves and the chirping of the crickets. The silent company did make Zane feel better, if only a little. However, he felt he owed Jay some words or explanation.

He took a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking, "She...was one of a kind. Unique."

Jay glanced at Zane waiting for more to come, but the boy didn't say another word. "Unique. You mean as unique as you are?" Jay asked.

"Yes, I suppose." Zane said softly. "We're both – she _was_ an android. Like me,"

Jay nodded, replying "So was that army,"

Zane snapped his head to Jay, anger in his eyes. "But she was _good! _She didn't want to hurt us, she was forced to. After the Overlord lost control of her, she tried to help! That army was nothing like her...nor was it anything like me," Zane said venomously.

Jay mentally scolded himself, _"What a stupid thing to say, why would you say that!? Look at him he's pissed,"_

The regret in Jay's eyes caused Zane to soften his features. He put his head back on his knees, knowing it was wrong to snap at his friend, but too angry to apologize.

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry," Jay whispered.

Zane heard the apology, but held his silence.

"Look," Jay said, turning to face Zane, "I know you felt you had some kind of connection with her because she was...like you, but that's no reason to force a relationship."

Zane lifted his head to look at Jay. He waited for the boy to continue speaking. "Relationships – love – doesn't happen just because you're the same as someone else. It's stupid and blind and makes you feel all tingly inside. Maybe sometimes it seems wrong. Maybe it doesn't even make sense...to love someone different than you," Jay said, eyes drifting to the ground. He swallowed his nerves and looked back up. "But love is love, and you can't force it away or on to someone,"

Zane let the words wash over him. When he thought over Jay's words he found that he agreed with him. "You are right, Jay. I was infatuated with her because she was an android with feelings, like myself. But just because she is – was an android doesn't mean it would have worked out,"

Their talk wouldn't keep Zane from being sad, but at least now the ice ninja had some sort of closure. Jay felt some pride in that, or at least he wanted to, but something felt _off._

"As an android-"

"Nindroid," Jay corrected

Zane gave a faint smile, "As a nindroid, I must learn that I will never find a love,"

Jay began to agree before the words processed in his brain. "What?! N-no, that's not what I meant,"

"What do you mean? You said that one can not force to love someone just because they are similar. I can not pretend that I knew Pixal would have returned my feelings simply because she was a robot. Nor will I be able to believe that with any other android that I meet,"

"W-what about humans? I mean sure we aren't as awesome nindroids, but we have our moments," Jay said quickly, laughing nervously.

"Jay, I am over forty years old, did you know that?" Zane asked, his face expressionless.

"I knew you were older, but not exactly..." Jay said, letting his sentence to drift.

"If I were to become involved with someone at the moment of my creation, they would be at least my age by now or more likely much older. Human lives are short. Even at forty they only have a small amount of years left," Zane explained. He looked to his brother, but Jay was struck with silence. "I don't want to relive what happened with my father. I am not ready to see someone age in front of me before being ripped away again. I don't think I'll ever be ready for that,"

Jay opened and closed his mouth. He wanted all the words he held in his head to come rushing out and show Zane that love and loss were not something to be shunned. He _wanted_ to.

"Thank you, Jay. You...helped clear some things up," Zane said as he stood. He felt his wet face and scrubbed the moisture away with his sleeve. The tears were dried, but his face was then smeared with dirt. He gave Jay a pained smile before beginning to walk away.

"I will let Kai know that it is his turn to watch over the weapons, would you stay here while I go fetch him?"

Jay dumbly agreed. He watched the white cladded figure disappear into the direction of Garmadon's school. When Zane was out of sight and earshot Jay threw himself to the ground. "_Idiot_," He scolded loudly. Jay smacked his fists to his forehead in aggravation.

"Great," Jay whispered to himself, "now not only does he not know you like him, but thanks to you he doesn't want a relationship with humans period."

Jay covered his face with his hands and groaned. He felt like an idiot. No, he _was _an idiot. "_Maybe it's for the best,_" Jay thought to himself. "_Maybe it would have ended just like it did with Nya,_"

Jay dropped his arms to the ground and watched the twinkling stars above him. At least he could dream.


End file.
